Lucky Number 13

Dear K,

Happy 13 months!  When do we stop counting months?  I know it will come sooner rather than later but right now, I like making the catchy titles with the month in them.

You have had a busy month full of  what seems like ups and downs, as is the new normal when one becomes a parent I suppose.  You have been sick a few times (we all have) but the last two weeks have been healthy.  But, absolutely no more seizures which is such a relief! YAY!  Teeth have been breaking through in the roof of your mouth so that has been pretty unpleasant from time to time.  I will admit that for a week there I thought you may have to move in with your grandparents until all those suckers are in!  But this week you have been feeling better and back to your giggling and active self which makes mommy and daddy very, very happy.  You are also having fun learning about brushing your teeth! This is probably the combination of having something to chew on while smiling at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

We have been fortunate to have some visits with both sets of grandparents in the last few weeks! We also spent an afternoon with Auntie Whitney and Elsie who treated us to lunch and birthday books and toys.   All of these moments have brought you both giggles and a full belly.  Sometimes I think you are absolutely the happiest when you are eating!  You absolutely love ham, turkey, and chicken.  Also, pancakes...big fan!  Fruit and yogurt also still pretty high on the list.  You have decided that broccoli is only good if it is out of the Chinese take-out (I tend to agree).  Peas are also better when scooped from your plate and into the side of your high chair.  Seriously, did you think we wouldn't notice!?

You are quite the vocal fellow these days.  A favorite pass-time is pushing your walker, or basket, or footstool, or whatever else you can find, through the house while squealing and growling as loudly as possible.  Grinning all the way, which brings your dad and I so much joy!  You say "dada" and "mama" but never directly to us and not really when we are in the room!  I am also pretty sure you tried to say "Daniel Tiger" the other day.    Over the weekend you discovered the thrill of tossing your blue bouncy ball and chasing after it.  It is so much fun to watch your excitement as you catch the ball and then bounce it on the floor.  You make your whole body bounce up and down after it.

You can practically run when you have your walker in front of you!  Daddy and I wish we could attach a vacuum and a lawnmower to it!  It really is time you were pulling your weight around here.  In the last couple of days you have taken just a few timid steps on your own which brought tears to our eyes.  I know it won't be long before life as we know it will be over. Again.  But goodness, right now we are just so proud of you and each new milestone you reach.

Today you began your enrollment at Roanoke Valley Montessori School.  I am so excited about this move for you.  I believe that it will be a strong environment for you to practice your motor skills and also develop those important skills for speech development and socialization.  It is also wonderful for me because now you will be 5 minutes from the church.  What a relief it will be to have you so close by.

Thank you my son, for bringing so much love and laughter into our lives.  Parenthood can be exasperating but you manage to make it so fulfilling.  It is certainly the greatest and most important thing we have done with our lives.  I think you're the cat's pajamas.

Love,
Mommy

wONEderful: Mitchell, Party of Three

My Dearest Son,

Over the last two weeks I have spent so much time reflecting on memories of this time a year ago.  How ill I truly was without knowing it. I've been recalling the sleepless nights and the feeling of your little head rearing up right in my rib cage.  I remember how fearful I was on my short drive with my mom on her birthday to the hospital for further tests.  I remember calling your daddy to tell him to come, that you would soon be here.  And while most mothers say they forget the 'pain' of childbirth, my experiences still stand out so much to me.  It is blurred around the edges but I cannot forget how sick I was...or how wonderful your dad was.  Or how terrified I was for us to actually bring you home and be your parents.  

And for 364 days my parenting nightmares never came true.  You have even had two  nerve-wracking surgeries which put you under anesthesia.  Even then, you handled these moments bravely, you recovered smoothly.  And then, on Thursday, May 21, the eve of your first birthday, you shaved years off of your father and I's lives.  You will never remember. We will never forget.  And so I must write of it, as I did  of those difficult hours in which you entered the world. I think I have to get it out.  We are still processing, even two days later.  On Thursday evening, we were all tired, we have all had some sort of stomach bug and you had been nursing a little fever that afternoon.  But you ate dinner and your dad and I carried you into the nursery and put you on the table to change your diaper.  Even now I can't be sure why your dad came along, we must have been talking about something, or he was volunteering to take you because it is rare for us to do diapers as a team anymore. As your daddy reached to grab me a new tube of diaper cream your whole body shook hard once and then you became unresponsive.  We picked you up, patted you, called your name and you could not focus on us.  We called 911 immediately.  As I was on the phone with the dispatcher all I could think was "my baby, my baby, he can't die."  Your dad and I looked at each other helplessly as you lost color, you were breathing but it was a struggle.  Your dad laid you down on the floor and blew a puff of air into your mouth.  The dispatcher said to turn you on your side.  About that time color returned to your cheeks and you began to wail.  I have never been more happy to hear you cry.  The whole episode could not have been more than a minute, maybe two, but it felt like an eternity.  Soon after you began to cry the sirens arrived.  A fire truck, EMT, and about five police cars swarmed our street.  In this moment I must thank God for two things. One, your father and I were together.  Two, we live so close to fire and rescue and have two hospitals minutes away.  You and I rode in the ambulance with several very kind Cave Spring Rescue Squad folks while Daddy followed behind.  Longest drive ever, I am sure especially for your dad who couldn't see you or hold you as I could.   We spent the next five hours or so at the hospital so you could be monitored and have a urinalysis done to check for infection.  You were treated for a high fever and once it came down you were back to your old self, crawling around naked as a jaybird on your hospital bed.  The first time that evening that your daddy made you laugh is probably the sweetest sound I have ever heard.   

As it turns out, they believe that your fever spiked rapidly and this caused you to have a seizure. We were allowed to leave around midnight with the encouragement to give you medications to keep your fever down and watch you closely for the next 24 hours.  If this happens to a child once they are more likely to have another one. But it doesn't mean you will have them the rest of your life or that you will have epilepsy.  I believe I checked your temperature at least 10 times in the middle of the night and your daddy slept in the floor all night beside your crib.   Let the record show that since that time I have probably checked your temperature 100 times.  

On Friday, your actual birthday, we went to see Dr. Sullivan for what was supposed to be your one year check up.  This is probably one of the last times we will see the doctor who cared for you the weekend you were born which makes me sad because we have so much respect for him (which is why we haven't moved you to a Roanoke doctor yet).  Anyway, Dr. Sullivan discovered something the ER doctor missed.  You have "hand, foot, and mouth disease."  This is a very contagious virus which causes, surprise, high fevers!  He found blisters in your throat, though none have appeared on your hands or feet as of yet.  Thus, our anxiety about you having another seizure due to a spike in fever has elevated.  The doctor also called for a stool sample since you've had this stomach thing and apparently there is an illness that can cause upset stomach and seizures.  It is Memorial Day Weekend, so we must wait until Tuesday for results of the test.  I did not anticipate spending your birthday delivering specimen samples and crying multiple times but there it is.  This is why for the first time in 12 months your birthday blog is not dated on the 22nd.  

I must confess that I am experiencing a lot of mommy guilt over all of this.  Ever since I had to put you in daycare full time you have been sick with one thing after another.  I know this is "normal" and you are "building your immune system" but your dad and I have also been sick a lot.  And I am sorry, but watching my child have a seizure because he has a fever, because he caught something more than likely at daycare, is not something I want to repeat.  It has just been difficult to get my sensible mind to tell my very sensitive heart that none of this is my fault.  I will always be this way I suspect, always wanting to go above and beyond what is humanly possible for you. 

Your daddy and I have spent the last two days hugging and kissing on you more than normal.  We have also shed many tears, just so relieved to see you laughing, crawling, eating, sleeping.  Suddenly, nothing else really matters at all, just knowing you are here with us, celebrating birthday number one.  

We had to cancel your birthday party.  Which I was pretty bummed about but the more I think about it, this doesn't matter much.  Not because you won't remember it but because it has been such a big weekend for us, it was extra special for us to be together as a family.  We had your cake and your daddy went and picked out your presents and wrapped them for you to tear into.  We just tell you over and over "we love you" and "happy birthday".  If you are reading this at age 18 and we are still doing this, now you know why! 

The past few days have been so much I don't really know if I can remember the last month! You did have an outpatient procedure at UVA that had been planned since you were born.  So far, you are taking this in stride!  You are getting into everything.  I love it when you pull up and hold on to my pant-legs when I am standing at the counter.  You attended my installation at Covenant and were visited by Uncle Jer and Aunt Crystal. You behaved so wonderfully.  You still eat like a horse... I am so thankful you aren't picky but I wonder what your eating habits will be like 12 years from now.  I may need a second job to pay for your food!  You have gotten to see your grandparents in the last few weeks too which you have enjoyed.  I think your favorite game is for daddy or I to "chase" you around the house. You just squeal and laugh and laugh.  

I can't believe it has been a year since we first saw you and held you.  My tiny little 5 pound, 3 oz, baby now weighs 17.5 pounds and you are 28 inches long! You have grown into this amazing little person.  You have the sweetest smile.  You are a huge flirt.  And when I tell you "no" for something you recognize exactly what I am saying and you grin at me sheepishly and go back to doing it.  If this continues I know we are in trouble when you hit adolescence.  

You are really just the sweetest child. Your personality is laid-back and gentle.  When you aren't animated and happy that is when it is obvious you aren't feeling well.  You are also pretty strong-headed.  I can't imagine where you got that from.  You keep after whatever you have your mind set on.  I hope this means that in addition to your obvious strength, loving, silly personality, you will also be an ambitious go-getter.  

Every month we have watched you grow and change with wonder and excitement.  We love you SO much.  I don't think children can ever truly understand how much their parents love them.  You are everything to us and you bring out the best in both of us and you make us a stronger team.  I have lifetime prayers for you but on this evening, when I am tired and worn out, I am praying for you to be healthy.  I am praying that we will never again go through what we have this week.  And I am praying that for your birthday next year we can do something fun, like go to the beach, rather than having a traumatic hospital visit!  

Here's to the year to come!

Love,

Mom

The Eleventh Hour

Dear Kemper,

I have been reflecting a lot in the last week or so about where we were at this time a year ago.  I remember being in this beautiful season of spring and having such wonderful baby showers thrown for us by family and friends in which we were gifted everything we would possibly need to welcome you into the world.  I remember spending hours preparing your room: washing and hanging clothes, arranging drawers, tucking bedding on the crib your Daddy so carefully put together. These were in fact the last days before I began to get sick.  The last precious moments I would have of preparation before the sleepless nights, the discomfort and anxiety. I recall thinking that I just couldn't imagine who you would be, what you would look like or how you would behave.  I'd gotten so used to having you grow inside of me, I was a little bit on edge about what to do with you when you came out! It was the eleventh hour, the last moments.

How far we have come, Bear!  You are now eleven months old and the eleventh hour has taken on yet another meaning!  It is the eleventh hour for baby-proofing as you are now MOBILE!  Your crawl is uniquely yours.  It isn't so much a crawl as propelling your body with one foot and the other leg tucked under you.  This doesn't seem to slow you down one bit.  I think you have very much enjoyed being able to grab your books out from the shelf and spread them all over the floor.  You have been quite amused with yourself getting into bags, drawers, and most recently the refrigerator. In fact, the fridge is such a big attraction to you that you pulled yourself up to standing in front of it the other day. Much to the joy and surprise of your parents!

You have had delightful visits with all of your grandparents, your Aunt Mert and your Auntie Whit in the last few weeks.  We all spoil you, we just adore you so much.  You continue to be so sweet and happy most of the time.  Which is a real blessing considering you have been sick most of the month with colds and a little stomach bug. We haven't slept all that great the last week or so but thankfully that is turning around (fingers crossed). I have hated to see you sick but it hasn't stopped you from playing or eating! The ladies at daycare always tell me how good you are and how well you eat. Speaking of eating, on the highlight reel this month is your lightening fast reflexes in stuffing half of a chocolate cupcake in your mouth off of mommy's dinner plate at youth council.  You have such good taste I couldn't even be upset about it.

So, here we are, the eleventh hour before the big birthday!  I cannot believe you are almost one.  Our tiny little baby, a year old.  Each day when we first came home  I would say, "well he's still alive so we are doing good!"  A lot has changed in the last year but one thing has remained constant; you have become the center of our hearts.  You are the sun, around you we revolve.

Happy Eleven Months Kempy!

Love,
Mommy

inTENse

Darling Bear,

You have had a fever.  You have had a diaper rash.  You have broken out with bumps all over your body. You have gnawed (and swallowed) a corner of my novel cover.  All just in the last week (most in the last 24 hours)!  These are only the tough things that have been going on in the last month, you've had plenty other business to attend to as well.

We have moved to Roanoke and gotten settled into our new house, which we close on tomorrow!  Mommy will be very relieved when this part of our new adventure is completed.  For the last two weeks you have gone to work with me most days and you have done very well.  You have the staff at Covenant charmed, of course.  They think you are a little sweetie and Rev. Bob thinks that you are "just cool."  It is pretty amazing how you have taken in meeting all of these new people and adjusting to a new environment.  As a parent, this pleases me to think that you will probably be well acclimated in social situations.  However, knowing that you are in the process of becoming mobile has led to the important task of finding child care for you.

The Mother's Day Out program at Covenant is currently full.  Great news for the program, bad news for us.  This has ultimately brought us to the discovery of a place called Creative Kids which my friend Tresica told me about.  We went and visited there on Monday and went back on Friday for a bit for you to become familiar with the room, teachers, and other little ones. Beginning on Wednesday you will be there two days a week. At the moment I am just relieved that finally we have found a place where I can enroll you part time!  But, on Wednesday I may be singing a different tune. I have no illusions that it will be easy leaving my baby boy in the hands of people who are not family or trusted friends for the first time.  It all became real to Daddy and I upon the purchase of your very own dinosaur lunch box.  I trust it is the right thing for us currently and I pray that you will flourish.

As I was contemplating our situation last week in regards to your care, it hit me like a lightening bolt that Madisson, who was our nursery worker at Appomattox for a few months is now here in nursing school.  I contacted her and she has agreed to watch you on Tuesday and Thursday mornings for a few hours.  Another win!  While this will have to be navigated differently while Madisson is away for the summer, this gives us some cushion for the spring.

Ah, but this will all be boring news to you as you read this years from now. You've also done some really fun things in the last month, including spending some quality time with your Beba and Papa Tate and seeing Papa Bass and Grandma Deb.  Auntie Susan and Auntie Jane also came and spent some time with you so that I could work and go on a date with daddy.  I think that you great aunts and uncles should be known as "Great"  so "Great Jane and Great Tom"  "Great Nita and Great Glen"  "Great Susan and Great Bud"  "Great Ray".   After all, they are pretty great :)    You and Daddy also spent a whole boys club weekend together while Beba and I went to Nashville to Anitha's wedding.  I missed you both a lot but I am thankful that I could go, and that you and your dad had some awesome bonding time.    We also went over to Hollins last week on a pretty day and sat on the quad for a little bit.  It is cool to think that you might start your own connections to a place that is special to our family so early in life.

You've hit the "eating real food" milestone and are excelling in this.  No surprise there, you love to eat.  You still seem to enjoy the sweet potatoes and peaches, but you have also begun a love affair with mandarin oranges. Being a real man's man; you love items from the beef, poultry, fish category.   Sausage, Chicken, Pork, Tuna (yes tuna)  doesn't matter, you dig it. Already a better eater than Mommy.  It is fun to watch you figure out that you can grab at things and stuff them in your mouth without assistance (except when it is my book cover).  The sippy cup however is not a concept you have embraced.

You are not yet crawling or walking but you sure do love trying. The other day I watched you just bounce up on both knees to look at something across the way.   We have found that the cats seem to be a real incentive to get you rocking to your knees in hopes of hot pursuit.  They are tolerant of your presence in their kingdom (about as much as they are of each other).  Perhaps the beauty of this is that they will bond over fleeing from your grip!

You still enjoy bouncing on Daddy's shoulders, giggling at photographs of yourself on my phone, and sleeping with your hands behind your head.  You are still not a fan of waking up (this is from me) or putting real clothes on (this is from daddy). ;)  Oh my goodness, I almost forgot, you absolutely love riding in the cart at the grocery store.  It is worth the trouble of taking you just to see how excited and happy you are.

Next month around this time you are having a little outpatient surgery at UVA.  Hopefully this will be our last trip!  I can't even imagine what you will be up to by then.  How much you will have grown, how busy you will be, and (fingers crossed) how well adjusted to the new routine.   When you are fussy I say to you, "I know it is so hard to be a baby."  But, you know what, you've probably handled this transition with more grace and resilience than we have as adults.  Kudos to you, Bear! 

Who's the cutest baby in the whole wide world?  You know.

Love,
Mommy

9 at 9:00

Grizzly-Polar-Bear:

It is 9:00 a.m. on our SEVENTH snow day. Seven days of captivity in the house for you and I as Daddy's car has been buried in the snow and temperatures are too cold to take you out anyway.  I'm not going to lie to you sweetie, you are driving me crazy!  You are tired of all of the things that have entertained you all week.  Except drooling on my phone and trying to type on the computer keyboard!  We solved this by giving you your own old keyboard to beat on.  You are doing this with much enthusiasm as I type. Annnd CRASH, it is now on the floor. 

It has been an interesting month, a busy one.  You have very much enjoyed spending an afternoon each week with Ms. Barbara and Hannah and Seth, church members who have been gracious enough to watch you so I can get a little bit more work accomplished.  You also spent several days with Ms. Eunice, who loves giving sugars as much as receiving them.  She sent you home with a great baseball cap! On Valentine's Day you spent the whole day with your Auntie Whitney.  So much fun to be had! 

 

Your latest achievement is leaning over something and pushing up with your hands to balance on your knees, but you don't quite have it figured out that both feet must go behind you so inevitably you end up on your tummy then your back, wriggling around as if you are a turtle flipped over on his shell. You also have been finding extra delight in your jumper seat and you can bounce for quite a long time.  Ah, yes, and you have 2 teeth!  The last few days have seemed particularly painful to you so I suspect we will have a third one soon.  

You take delight in rattling pill bottles and clacking measuring spoons together. Anything that makes noise, really.  You love to be bounced around on Daddy's shoulders.  You are finding Heffy more and more intriguing.   Daddy's games are fascinating and you really want to help!  We have also enjoyed our fair share of Curious George and Chuggington on Netflix in the last few weeks.  Also, your obsession with tags on anything blows my mind.  What is it about these little pieces of material that feel so good to put in your mouth?  Do they taste like chocolate and I don't know it?  

There are new experiences to come in the next month of your life as we are moving to Roanoke for me to start a new job at Covenant Presbyterian.  We are buying you a house to grow into with lots of space for playing and a big back yard for imagining great adventures.  It is a strange time for Mommy as I have loved our time in Appomattox.  It makes me sad that you will not know the house you came home to from the hospital and had your first Christmas.  It makes me even more sad to think that you won't really know these Christians who first nurtured you before you were even born.  But, as you grow up you will always know that they loved you as one of their own.  I will make sure of that.  I am sure that you will be well loved by our new congregation as well and I look forward to you interacting with children in the church's preschool.  

                    

It has now taken almost an hour to write this birthday blog.  Thank you for feeling the need to test out everything we could possibly do to satisfy you in the last 45 minutes.  Your curiosity is healthy at any rate, and so are you.  We continue to be very blessed by you, you bring us a lot of joy.  Even in captivity.  Happy 9 months Bear!

Love, 

Mommy

EIGHT!

Dear Stinker,

Today you are 8 months old!  I wish I had time to dwell on this fact but alas, there is much going on and I have a session meeting in half an hour.  But for a quick recap of the last month here we go!

1) BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS

Oh my goodness we had so much fun celebrating Christmas with our families.  Everyone just loved seeing you, spending time with you, and spoiling you.  You were given lots of cool toys to help you learn as you grow and plenty of useful items too.

2) Sitting Up Like A Boss

Over the week of Christmas you had plenty of practice sitting up on your own and playing with your toys.  It is amazing to see that almost overnight you were doing this.  You are quite proud of yourself too.

3)  Visiting with some of your favorite peeps

In the last month not only did you get to love on your family but also to spend some extra time with Aunt Whitney, Papa & Beba, and Eunice. We are lucky to have so many people we love living close by!

4) We have a tooth!  Yes after months of drooling (which has actually increased) you have had a tooth break through this week.  Tylenol has been our friend.


Your sweet grins and giggles make me laugh and laugh.  They are enough to get us through some tough and stressful days.  Your dad and I so enjoy seeing the ways you are growing and changing. But don't rush it! :)

Love,
Mamamamamamama

Seven: Is Heaven...?

Kemper,

My dear son, time marches on.  Each night I fall into bed, asleep in minutes.  And typically in a few hours you wake me up (a habit we are trying desperately to break thank you very much).  Morning comes and you greet me with a grin and I forget how tired I have been...again.

Tonight I came home from work and you were sleeping in your bassinet.  Before I could even step into the warm shower your eyes popped open, fussing.  Frustrated I thought to myself, as I often do by 8:00 p.m., "Will I never find a moment's peace to do something for me?"   But then we got the diaper changed and the bottle fed, put you in warm pjs for bed.  We sat in the rocker and I read to you my Christmas books that I have cherished from childhood.  Your eyelids got heavy and you patted me on the arm, looked up at me as I read.  And I realized that this won't last forever.  And when you are seven years old I will long for these moments when you snuggle in tight.  And when you are seventeen I will desire nothing more than to steal a few moments with you...that I will probably gladly seek an interruption to help you with homework or make you a snack, because these will be moments for bonding.

I wish I could describe how quickly you are growing.  I swear you get heavier each day! You are eating very well, I believe that you favor peaches and sweet potatoes.  You also seemed to enjoy the pickle your father let you taste the other day, which I will never understand!  It amazes me how clever you are, knowing where I keep your food in the kitchen and observing impatiently from your high chair while I prepare to feed you.  We are making your food and I am pleased with how this is going so far.

You had a delightful first Thanksgiving with your family who came to our house to celebrate.  You got to meet your Uncle Ray for the first time and had lots of grandparent and aunt & uncle snuggles. Boy, were you tired by the end of the day!

I love watching your face light up when Daddy walks in from work.  Your smile really does wash away all the grime of the day.  I hope this is a gift you will always have, that of bringing bright joy into people's lives.

You have done some pretty awesome things the last few weeks including sitting up quite well on your own, although still wobbly. You have begun to enjoy your bumbo seat more, especially if it assists you in supervising whatever I am doing.  It is fun to see you sit up on the couch or bed, supervised of course.  Just in the last few days you have begun to put weight on your feet, placing them flat and springing up in your Exersaucer or on our legs while holding you! You are very proud and all smiles when you achieve this feat.  So are we.

Don't worry son, I won't tell everyone how you pooped in the bathtub last week.  Or how in my tired state I only ordered one Christmas card.

Christmas is only a few days away.   You have already gotten some pretty awesome gifts and I know many more are to come.  We've had lunch with Uncle Jer and a Christmas Party with Auntie Whit. And we attended Daddy's Christmas Party at Trax, where you were gleefully social. Your very first Christmas, so exciting for all of the family.  It is my favorite holiday and I am excited to start new traditions with you as you grow.  For now I will rejoice in the practice of "get him what he needs before he knows what he wants."  Sorry, kid.

I hope time slows down just a little.  I hope sleep lasts a little longer.  I hope, I hope, I hope.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year, Bear!

Love,
Mom