It's A Boy!

My dear son,

Three years ago today, around the time that I am writing this blog, your father and I saw you on an ultrasound screen and discovered that we were going to have a son.  I sat there somewhat in shock, I suppose from the sheer miracle of the whole thing, while your dad prepared to begin telling everyone via text before the goop was even washed from the swell of my belly.  Your dad's Facebook post that day was perfect and in jest, "Look out world, here comes a ladies' man."    On this day, in 2017 there is a lot of emotion swirling around in our country and our world.  So while my most immediate pride in you this day comes from your ability to use the potty at home this week (yay!), I've been thinking this morning about the pride I know I will continue to have in you as you grow into a boy, a teenager, and a grown man. 

Son, you were born in the United States of America.  This gives you rights and privileges that people from other countries risk life and limb to come here to experience.  Also, you are a white male born in America, which means you will undoubtedly experience privileges solely due to your gender, class, and the color of your skin.  This isn't a fault, this isn't your fault.  It simply is the truth that has been passed down through the history of our country and culture for generations.  I hope when you are old enough to be reading and reflecting on these blogs I write to you, you will be able to say, "that's not fair."  Quite right my son.  While I hope that in those years to come the state of humanity will improve, I dare say it will be up to your generation to turn this ship around. 

Son, you were born during the administration of our 44th President, Mr. Barack Obama.  He was the first African American to be elected as President.  Your father and I voted for him in both of his terms.  Our dear friend Jeremy told me yesterday that he hoped I would remind you of that and what it means for you and so many other people.  President Obama was not a perfect man, he was not the perfect president, there is no such thing.  I don't pretend to understand a lot about politics and policies.  But I do think, in my brief time on earth, understand a little bit about integrity.  I believe that this man is one of the highest integrity.  He fought for equal rights for the people of our nation.  He made it legal for people to marry who they love, he championed the idea that health care should be accessible for all people. He fought to protect women's rights to make decisions for their own bodies.  Along with his incredible wife, Michelle, he sought to improve educational opportunities for children.   In his eight years as president, there were no scandals from the first family.  They protected their daughters from scrutiny and sought to keep their lives as normal as possible.  It is said that the president had dinner with his family almost every night.  I admire that so much.  

In November of 2016, your dad and I took you with us to vote for the next president.  For the first time in history, a female was a candidate for President.  That is amazing.  I hope and pray that by the time you are eligible to vote, having individuals who are of different ethnicities, and having females on the ballot will be commonplace.  What you will read in your history books at school is that this female, Senator Hillary Clinton, did not serve as our 45th president.  But, she did win the popular vote in this country and that speaks volumes.  We cannot forget that. 

Yesterday, we watched the inauguration of the first president you will remember, Mr. Donald Trump.  When you start elementary school, this man will in all likelihood be in office.   I hope that your history books will be able to paint a true picture of his administration that is far better than the one I am fearful of in my heart.  I hope and pray that the ways in which I feel our country is taking steps backwards in equality, freedom, and safety will not come to pass.  I truly pray that our country will not only survive, but thrive.  Because I respect the office of the president, the history of our democracy, and I want you to grow up in a place that you can be proud of.   I say this because I saw this man run a campaign that revealed his character to be less than worthy of the office.  I suspect that he preyed upon the dissatisfied people in our country with empty promises that he cannot keep.  He has stirred up bigotry, racism, and sexism in the American people in ways that make me want to weep. Many people I love and respect voted for President Trump, and for many their personal concerns regarding health care, or economic and job security were valid and important to them. So while I know that many people do not hold the same apparent tendencies towards all the "ism's" I saw President Trump portray;  I do know that many, many people in our country whose skin is not white, whose gender is not male, whose religion is not Christianity, live in true fear.  A fear that you and I will never fully grasp.  By putting this type of person in a position of power, it normalizes the behavior and reflects to the rest of the world that we are a country that condones it. 

Today.  Today your Aunt Meredith is joining in on the Women's March on Washington.  I am so proud of her.  She marches with women all over the world who believe in standing up for not only equal treatment of women, but of all people, regardless of who they love, the color of their skin, or where they were born.  She marches because, much like the time of the civil rights movement, many people in our country see the need for peaceful protest, in order that together we might make a difference.  Let me be clear--in that kind of peacefulness, exercising the right to protest--I see hope.  In violent rioting in the streets, there can be no help, only destruction and pain. 

Son, it is my highest goal in life that we, your family, will raise you to be a man of integrity and humility.  As you are born in the richest country in the world, and a white male at that, I hope that we can help you keep your eyes open to the automatic power that this gives you and how you can use that power to serve those who have not been afforded the same chances as you.  I expect you to see all people as equal in the eyes of God.  God is the creator of all things and all people.   I hope and pray that you will form bonds with people based on their character, their hearts and minds and not the color of their skin.  That you will respect the varied historical and cultural experiences from which people are born and raised.  I will strive to teach you about other religions and to introduce you to different cultures, so that you may be educated and respect the values of others. You will respect women.  This is not a hope, this is a truth.  You cannot be my son and behave any other way.  A woman's body is hers.  A woman's mind is hers.  A woman's heart is hers.  Your father and your grandfathers, your uncle,  will have instilled that believe in you by example. I hope you will see the truth that love is love.  I don't know what the future will hold for you and a partner in all aspects of life, but male or female, I hope you know love. And I hope you will protect the rights of all other people to love whom they choose and have the same rights and protections that you do.  I hope you will strive to be a peacemaker and a dreamer of dreams. 

As I watched the inauguration yesterday, the Beatitudes were read from the gospel of Matthew.  "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, or say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."   These words being read to a crowd of people who would have put themselves in the place of the persecuted and the pure in heart...seeing before them one who, if the theology of the day was to be interpreted correctly, was placed there in God's favor.  But I have not seen, in this man, a reflection of Jesus Christ's teachings in his behavior.  Let me also say here, I do not feel it is necessary for a President of the US to be Christian; but if he claims to be Christian, I expect him to uphold the teachings of Christ.  The beatitudes list for us the very character and nature of Jesus.  Jesus, the man, the Savior, who told us the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And to love your neighbor as yourself."  LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF!   Maybe the message of the scriptures yesterday wasn't meant to be heard well just by those standing on the mall, but for the people today who march on Washington.  For the people today, who live in fear, and whether they are Christian or not, needed to hear some encouragement....blessed are the peacemakers. 

Franklin Graham, in a poor reflection on the theology of God, said that rain was a sign of God's blessing as the rain fell on Washington.  It isn't the rain that signals blessing, its God's bow in the clouds--a war bow, placed there by God as a sign of peace between him and the earth, and the many colored rainbow that shines after the storm, to remind us of God's steadfast covenant with us. It is what is reflected through the rain, LIGHT, with all its rich and varied colors, that reminds us of blessing.  So, whether you grow up to be a preacher's kid that studies the Bible and attends a Christian church; or you become one who follows another faith, or chooses not to practice at all--I hope you can stand upon the lessons that can be given to us by Christ; to honor all people, that in doing so honors something far greater than yourself. 

May you do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God. 

Love,
Mom